I think it’s safe to say that football season is settling in for its six-month stay. For the last three years I have kicked off this “official” American season by drafting the most mediocre team fantasy football has come to know. Every. Single. Year. Aaron Rogers has failed me. Carson Palmer has failed me. And now I’m just patiently awaiting my dynamic duo of Russell Wilson and Odell Beckham Jr. to land me #6 or # 7 out of 12 on the final standings’ list of my league this year.
Fantasy Football is essentially a group of guys girls that get together once a year…eat fancy delicacies, sip on cosmos, and attempt to draft the best team of hand-selected football players that the NFL has to offer. Wait…this might just be our league. Sacks and the City. Yes…the name is fantastic. The most eclectic group of girls that one could possibly imagine. It’s great. Friends from work, church, childhood, Junior League, Bible Study, the gym, friends of friends, etc. They are fab. At the beginning of each season everyone comes up with a name for their team that usually (not always) reflects one or more of their star players. Every year when the season rolls out…I anxiously await the infamous roster. And this is why….
- My Cousin Kirk. Vinnie’s best friend?
- TexMex Sooner. From Tex. Part Mex. University of Oklahoma Alum. Go figure.
- UpAllNite2GetLucky. Fantasy Football-The only “sport” where luck is the only skill you need.
- All I Do is Winston. Presumptuous…yet clever.
- Suck on DEZ Nuts. Dez Bryant was her rookie star last year. She now has Cam Newton…and is currently taking suggestions for a new name.
- NoBallsToBlowUp. This team name has landed her last place (dead last) the past two years in a row. It’s time.
- Mel’s Cock Blockers. 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
- Bonnie’s Boys. Boring? Absolutely. Effective? Most Definitely. She has taken home the silver every year. Superstition. Can’t hate her for it.
- Twerkin’ for Perkins. 😂🤣😂 Winner.
- Dak Attack. I’m currently singing the 90’s chart-topper “Friends Forever” by the blonde bombshell and the rest of the Zack Attack gang. Love Saved by the Bell.
- Amber’s Awesome Team. This is called going with the default. 😴😴😝
- BendItLikeBeckham. If you know anything about soccer (yes…the other football)…you will get this later. The Swede came up with it.
I carry the title Commissioner of our league. I slack at most (pretty much all) of the duties encompassed under the Commish’s repertoire…yet every year I somehow remain the head coach. I have decided it must be the annual pre-draft, motivational (smack-talking) email I send to remind everyone that no matter where you finished last year…there’s a good chance it will only get worse.
Side Notes:
- If you ware wanting some mindless whimsy in your life…follow The Last Blockbuster on Twitter @loneblockbuster. You won’t be disappointed. Yes, Blockbuster filed bankruptcy 6 years ago…but if you thought that they no longer existed…you are sadly mistaken. Check it out here.
- 19 older couples who prove their love is 100% real. If this article doesn’t put a smile on your face…you have no sense of humor. I’m easily amused.
- Season 2 of Game of Thrones Done. Yes…we have mastered the art of binge-watching. I might like it a little more than season 1…but I’m still not completely sold. I leave season 2 with these thoughts…
- Sansa Stark. You don’t love King Joffrey. He’s an inbred douche bag that treats you like a piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe. Your dedication (obsession) to the idea of being his queen makes us girls look weak and pathetic. He’s a pansy. You know it.
- Khaleesi, you are a bit strange, but I like you. And now I kind of want a little pet dragon.
Next up on the blog…NYC. U.S. Open🎾. Yankees vs. Red Sox⚾️. Broadway🎶. Me + The Big 🍎. I love New York City.
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**Praying for Houston and the surrounding areas that have been affected by Hurricane Harvey and the tropical storms that have followed**
Big Hugs. Lots of Love.
P.M.T.
Pardon My Thoughts* 