Arkansas Festivus…in June?

Riverfest.  Arkansas’ biggest music festival.  This year marked the 40th anniversary.  40 years of music, food (artery-clogging, good stuff), beer, games, rides, face painting, temporary tattooing, merchandise vendors, Baggo (Those Northern folks call this Cornhole) tournaments, cook-offs, fireworks, and the best people-watching one can possibly imagine.  Seriously…the best.  Some people love it.  Some people hate it.  But they are doing something right….because thousands of people keep coming back every year.  Including myself.  Yeah….I have nothing.

The last few years there has been a beer and wine-tasting event to kick off Riverfest called Rolling on the River.  My husband and I had some tickets land in our laps last minute, so we decided to go…and managed to drag a couple of friends along with us.  Wine-tasting.  Classy, right?  Riiiiiggghhttt…. 

Over 50 different wines…several different breweries…Mexican food…and live music housed under the infamous pavilions down in the River Market. I’m not a beer drinker, but they had an array of local craft beers, amongst others.  Some of the wines were sub par, but there were a few decent ones.  They had huge bowls of  cheese straws in the middle of each table for people to snack on.  No utensils to grab them.  Just your trusty fingers.  I could only imagine how many people dove right in after a trip to the port-o-potty.  Delicious.  Am I dying to go back next year?  Nah, probably not, but we definitely got what we paid for.

My husband is not a fan of Riverfest.  He’s European.  He comes from a place where bootcut jeans don’t exist, and capri pants are more popular with guys than they are the ladies. The idea of being shoulder-to-shoulder with humidity laden-sticky, funnel cake and turkey leg-eating, muscle-shirt wearing, amazing people, while having beer sloshed on you from all angles is not too appealing to him.  I love a good funnel cake.  I had to sweet-talk him into going with me this year.  We had VIP tickets which gives you access to the VIP pavilions.  This includes free beer, wine, food, games, and a decent view of whichever act is playing at the amphitheater without having to immerse yourself into the crowd.  Gold. In Riverfest land.  We were two feet in the gate when the Swede looks around and says, “I feel like I fell asleep and woke up in a scene of Joe Dirt. ”  Truth.  It seemed to be shirt-optional, and we saw several peeps strutting their finest swimsuits.  This is not a water park, peeps, FYI.

We spent most of the evening hanging in the VIP area with some friends, taking advantage of the amenities provided.  The headliner of the night that was playing nearby was Wiz Khalifa. I’m not a huge follower, but I can spit some lyrics to Black and Yellow.  Black & yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow.  The aroma of marijuana penetrated the air.  Anyone within a close radius left with a legit contact high. On our way out of the VIP area..we witnessed a brawl.  Not just a fight, but a BRAWL.  VIP apparently doesn’t incorporate classy.  Like straight out of the movie, Road House.  It was like a 10-car pile-up of both men and women.  I found myself feeling a bit nostalgic, reminiscing on the fights that used to break out in our high school cafeteria.  Memories.  Instead of pieces of weave flying around and staplers being thrown, there was beer raining down and people being thrown over tables.  I was nervous and fascinated at the same time.  These people were 40+ years old.  I think I pulled a muscle just watching.  Amazing.

We didn’t have it in us to make it back Sunday night for the fireworks, but it’s usually a pretty good show.  If you didn’t buy a weekend pass, you could go Sunday for $5.  Steal.  The proceeds from the festival go back into the community, so it’s all for a good cause.  That’s what I keep telling myself anyways.  A friend of mine saw something on Facebook that I believe sums it up beautifully…”Riverfest is like a Hillbilly Coachella.”  That actually  might be an insult to Coachella.  I have never been…but would love to go and find out!

Side Notes:

• If you can feel an airy breeze on your butt cheeks, your shorts are too short.
• If whoever is standing behind you can see the outline of your butt crack, your shorts are too short.
• If your shorts give you a permanent wedgie….in both front and back…at the same time, your shorts are too short. And they are probably going to give you some kind of infection in parts that you don’t want infected. 
• If you reside in Arkansas and have never been to Riverfest, you’re not a true Arkansan, and it’s time to crawl out of the hole that you live in.  The Swede can’t wait to go back.

Serious Note:  Praying for England…and the victims and families affected by such tragedies.  #ManchesterUnited…(Pun intended)  The Swede is a big fan of soccer.  Go figure. If you don’t follow soccer, you won’t get it.  Annnnd….that’s probably you and the majority of America.  

Big Hugs.  Lots of Love.

P.M.T.