The Bump…and Grind

Yeeeesssss. It feels really good to finally sit down and put a pen to paper (which is the 1995 version of me sitting here in front of my keyboard). 😁

It has been while. A long while. Way too long of a while. After the 217th person asked me why I hadn’t been blogging…I decided it was time to make time. These last few months have been a whirlwind. Life has been super busy, and in the mean time…God has blessed The Swede and I with a sweet baby boy, due in May! I have never felt so worried, excited, overwhelmed, blessed, and totally discombobulated all at the same time. 🤨

Comparatively speaking, I have had a pretty good pregnancy.  I was never sick, and I have had a decent amount of energy…although it is steadily tanking here in my last trimester.  And unfortunately…my brain cells are depleting at an even more rapid rate.   I think it’s safe to say that I’m a fairly intelligent person…but in the last 6+ months, I have never felt so absent-minded and mentally exhausted.

Insert Pregnancy Brain.

I have heard about pregnancy brain for years.  And not saying that I ever discredited it, but I really never thought much about it.  I mean…can being pregnant really make you that absent-minded (stupid)?  Yes.  Yes it can.  And as I probably shouldn’t air all of my dirty (humiliating yet humorous) laundry…here are a few things to date:

• Earlier in my pregnancy, I brushed my teeth with face wash…and didn’t even realize it until I was about 30 seconds in.  I thought the toothpaste was oddly overly foamy but didn’t think much about it…until the lack of minty freshness took me back to a time where I said something I shouldn’t have to my mother….
• I brewed an entire pot of coffee without putting any coffee in the filter.  I thought it looked a little light…and it still didn’t register. Nothing like some hot, slightly coffee-tainted water.
• I started planning our “baby moon” around my school schedule…when The Swede so kindly reminded me that I would be on Spring Break.  He kindly reminds me of a lot. So sweet of him. 
• There have probably been several days that I have taken two prenatal vitamins because for some reason I can never remember if I have taken it or not.  I have had to start telling the hubbs when I take it, so If I question it later…he can attest.
• I regularly forget my keys, my purse, and where I’m going once I get in my car.
• I forgot my wallet at Whimsy Cookie the other day…but on the bright side…I remembered to get my cookies.  Pregnant woman in a store full of cookies.  #priorities 🤰🏼🍪🍪😋

And even though my forgetfulness is at an all-time high, I still don’t understand the extremely overused, nonsense phrase…”I forgot to eat.”

Being pregnant is like riding the longest roller coaster of your life.  There are ups, arounds, upside downs, and everything in between.  But aside from not being able to sleep, eat most sushi, enjoy a glass of wine, walk up stairs without running out of breath, have an ache or pain without wondering what is wrong…and so forth and so on…There are some benefits as well…

• People offer to carry stuff for you all of the time. So much so that I dropped a pencil the other day and just stood there…waiting for someone to come along and pick it up for me.  Don’t judge…bending over has become a challenge in itself. 
• Nobody ever questions why you wear stretchy pants…ALL THE TIME. Pants that fit are few and far between.  
• If you have a daily step goal…having to go the bathroom every 45 minutes is a great aid in achieving that.
• Maternity jeans: I dreaded these until I realized how convenient it was not to have to actually unbutton my pants.  I wasn’t exaggerating when I said every 45 minutes.
• My food baby after consuming too much cheese dip just looks like my real baby is a week ahead of schedule. #winning  

Side Notes:

Why do all maternity clothes have to look like tents with a tie around the waist?  It’s 2018.  We have been sending people to the moon for almost 50 years now.  Can’t somebody come up with something better than that?!

There are a few things (very long list actually) you should not say to a pregnant woman.   Here are just a few to date:

• You need to gain some more weight if you plan on having healthy baby.  Really?  Thanks for your unsolicited expertise.  I wasn’t aware you graduated from med school.
• Oh…I finally can see signs of you being pregnant.  Your thighs are looking a little thicker.  Whaaaaat?!  I can’t even.
• Oh (insert name)…you have never had hips before, but I see that you do now.  If you weren’t a sweet, old lady…I might punch you.  
• That baby is doing your body good.  I can tell your face is getting fuller.  Oh great.  My already chubby cheeks have gotten fatter.  I guess “Your face is glowing” is too cliche? 
• Are you still exercising? I hope you have slowed down.  You are going to get that umbilical cord wrapped around that baby’s neck. Wow. I’ll go crawl in a hole now.

“Babymooning” with Oprah is next up on the blog.  Well…I’ll be in her hometown anyways.  Almost the same.  #Chicagobound

Big Hugs.  Lots of Love.

Pardon My Thoughts